DAY THREE: In the words of Allison Krauss "Let's go down to the river"

Today was a dichotomy of emotions and occurrences!

On one hand, I want to write to you all and share the hilarity of the day and on the other I have a desire to tell you about the components that made today one of those that forever changes someone. So, here goes…bear with me.

Our day started at 6:30, which was quite early for me considering that I was up until 3 a.m. blogging. However, I had a fresh spirit as we boarded the USS Almagor (or IS Almagor, more appropriately) for our morning cruise from Tiberius to the Jesus Boat museum off an island.

We “sailed” the Sea of Galilee on a boat that was just like the one Jesus and the disciples may have been on, except it had a motor, a full-service crew, microphones, piped in gospel music, and RUTI!

Sistah Ruti was “on” this morning, corralling the crew into raising the US flag (which we weren’t sure was a fantastic idea, but nevertheless, it was neat) and playing the Star Spangled Banner. She gave us all sorts of great information about the Sea of Galilee, including the basics: It is 14 miles long, 8 miles wide, and 150 ft deep. It was wild to think that we were on the very waters that Jesus calmed so many years ago.

Of course, every meaningful experience is followed by a museum and gift shop and this was no exception. We went to the Jesus boat museum next where we were able to see the actual boat excavated by Shelly Waxman and his assistant Kurt in the 80’s that experts think Jesus and his disciples may have actually cruised/fished in. It was like a CSI lab …the boat was excavated over a 10-year period, including the treatment and preservation and set up with laser identifiers and alarms. Very Horatio. This boat, being over 2,000 years old, was in remarkable condition. Second only in highlights to the chach-key gift shop was that Ruti kicked out a handful of Japanese tourists, cameras in tow, because they weren’t apart of our group. Talk about solidarity!

We left the gift shop (I made some incredibly special purchases…get ready friends and family!) and journeyed on via bus to the site that is thought to be the Mount of Beatitudes, where Christ gave the Sermon on the Mount. The phrases “Blessed are/Blessed is” are mentioned in this sermon 9 times (8 times according to the Roman Catholics) and this place is certainly blessed! Several of us made the observation that there were tourists from every tribe and nation…this must be what heaven will be like! We had Russian Orthodox congregants singing “Blessed Assurance”, Catholics from somewhere in Latin America chanting “Hail Marys,” Nigerian Baptists doing praise and worship dances, and Penecostals from San Antonio smoking in the women’s room.

I noticed in the parking lot that this is also where tour buses go to die. There must have been 30 buses in the parking lot, including the one driven by our very own David who was eager to get us to the next gift shop/museum stop.

We learned from GBC’s own leader that early in the reign of Constantine, his mother traveled to every spot considered holy and built a church (and gift shop?). Curses to her! I have never been to so many tourist traps in one day in my entire life (unless you consider the times I worked at a camp in Branson, MO and went to Dollywood every time I had a day off!) and I am now convinced, though I love her dearly, that Ruti profits finely from bringing us to these places. You know its bad when the souvenir peddlers high five her and call her by her nickname, “Rootie Tootie Fresh & Fruity!”

We went from the Mt. of Beatitudes to the spot where Christ was thought to have fed the 5,000. Ruti showed us the exact location. It was amazing to think that more than 10,000 congregated in this valley. The natural acoustics this particular valley provides are the #1 reason it is thought to be the spot. That and Ruti says so!

We traveled to Capernaum, which was another gift shop along the way, but it had special significance to our group because it is the spot where Christ had the headquarters for his ministry. We visited St. Peter’s home (actually his mother-in-law’s home) and the ruins of the synagogue just steps from the home where Christ is thought to have walked.

No day with Ruti would be complete without a stop at a restaurant where she receives free meals. For us, however, soda water: $5, Hebrew Salad Bar: $9, Fried “Sea of Galilee” fish (complete with head, fins, and eyes): $19. Eating at Tiberias’ only "Oriental Lebanese Restaurant" that doubles as a Gas Station: PRICELESS! Lincee and I sat with a delightful couple from the Woodlands at lunch. They were passing the dessert and asked Lincee and I if we wanted any. "Do you like dates," they asked? Not realizing they were referring to the traditional Israeli fruit dessert, we both looked at each other and laughed, "Well, yes we like them...but it has been a really long time. I wouldn't know a date if it took me out on Friday night!"

Along the way, we learned of one of Israel’s mystery animals, the Coney. It supposedly looks like a rabbit with short ears, but none of us have seen one yet. I’m beginning to think that the Israeli Coney is in the same animal genus as the Navasota Snipe. When I questioned their existence, I received the “Leaf my co knees a-loahn!” response from her.

All kidding aside, the most incredible event of the day was the opportunity to be baptized at Yardenit, on the banks of the Jordan River, which I jumped at doing! This is where Christ was baptized by John the Baptist, marking the beginning of his public ministry. I was thrilled to don the white robe and be baptized by one of our group leaders.

We headed back to the hotel, had a debriefing with members of our group and I’m calling it a night relatively early! Again, while today was an incredible day, it was also very meaningful and I’m once again SO thankful for the opportunity to be here.

Shalom Ya’ll! OR Le Chaym! (pronounced “la-hi-um”) which means “GET EXCITED” tomorrow promises to be a day of tourist stores and Ruti-isms! Stay tuned and thanks for reading!

PICTORIAL DIARY:
Members of our group sing along to the "Star Spangled Banner" aboard the Jesus Boat.


The actual Jesus boat, excavated over 10 years ago, and meticulously preserved. This sign was commonplace at today's tourist stops!
A view while cruising the Sea of Galilee...Chach-key shopping in the Jesus Boat's gift shopThe multitudes descend on Capernaum Excavation thought to be Peter's mother-in-law's home. Mosaic commemorating the feeding of the 5,000. The black stone toward the back of the picture is thought (by Constantine's Mama, I'm sure) to be the ACTUAL stone where Jesus stood to perform the miracle of multiplying the fishes and loaves.

Opportunities to Chachi shop were abundant.

Lunch...enough said!
The Oriental, Lebanese Gas Station Restaurant owned by Ruti & Sons! Think Stuckeys without the tooth-pick holders.

Lincee and I after being baptized by Dwight in the Jordan.

Our GBC Group following our baptism in the Jordan.

The night's best find...a TEXAS SALOON downstairs from the lobby in our hotel. The beer of Israel. Maccabee's Beer. Delish. Literally translates to "the hammer"...which we weren't.

TODAY'S RUTI RECAP:

Best to come "straight from the horse's lips"

BABY UPDATE:

Still no kid, still not an aunt. Looks like Monday is the BIG DAY!

CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION:
Blogging, waking, cruising, museum-ing, tourist shopping, touring, kick back promoting, baptizing, lame blogging, crashing

DAY TWO: In the words of Dolly Parton, "Nine to Five"

This tourist stuff is a full-time job! Lincee and I woke up early (6:50 a.m.) to watch Channel 24's music videos. Apparently, the weenie bikini men have day jobs as Israeli pop singers. Lots of old people in tight outfits. God bless the USA!


We had a fantastic breakfast...Israeli coffee ("Cafe") is fantastic. We learned a few Hebrew phrases:
1. Bon Apetit: "bete-avon"
2. Thank you: "toda"
3. Where is the bathroom?: "eifo hashhirutim?"
4. Good Morning!: "boker tov"
5. Peace on the Sabbath.: "Shalom Shabbat"


After a carafe of the good stuff, we headed out to meet our other comrades, who flew in on a later flight. It was the first time I realized Mama's advice was right..."A little bit of lipstick and a smile and nobody will notice how tired you really are!" Turns out the rest of the group, many of whom we didn't know (they're from another church) are really incredible folks! (Thanks to Pam and Jill for "introducing" us!). Lincee & I noticed that we have sore throats. At first we were thinking, "Oh no, we're sick." Then we realized it was from all our Hebrew practice...there's a lot of "hoighght"-ing (think phglem sound) in producing those words we learned this a.m.!




First off, we met our tour guide Ruth, or "Ruti" (pronounced "root-ey,"). She's a trip...in fact, she's THE trip! We love her! She told Lincee and I today that we were "fun" which was almost like hearing "Well done, good and faithful servant!" She knows SO much about where we're going, Biblical history, the Scriptures, etc. She'll be such an asset (not to mention constant comedic relief) on the trip. I've decided to dedicate a section of the blog to her, the "Rudi Recap," which will recount a saying, tidbit, or joke straight from the lips of this fantastic woman!



Our first stop was in Caesarea. And what a great place to kick off our Israeli Invasion '08. This is the spot where Gentiles first heard the Gospel message and the location of the best Roman relics and ruins in the country. We waded in the ocean (this is becoming a theme) and took a ton of pictures. I could camp here for a while!

We left "by the sea" and cruised past a bedroom community, where Ruti told us many of Israel's wealthy "summer." Linc and I are going to sneak back later to try and find our Jewish sugar Daddies!

We stopped at a spot on Mount Carmel for falafel lunch (and I'm positive Ruti is getting something for taking us to these spots). Aside from the dog and cat who were on top of the tables and the restauranteurs taking our money and dishing out the pita bread, we were the only folks around. A few other tour buses pulled up as we were leaving, so I'm pretty sure we were at the McDonalds of falafel world!

Our busdriver, David, who is the world's best driver (although he told us he takes the sharp curves by simply closing his eyes) took us next to a monastery on Mount Carmel that is built on what is thought to be the spot where Elijah challenged and defeated the 450 Ba'al prophets. The monastery overlooks Megiddo, the prophecied location for Armaggedon. A very cool stop.



Last, and certainly least, was our stop in Nazareth. We went to Nazareth Village, which was supposed to be a recreation of what it might have looked like where Jesus may have walked. That was two hours of my life I will never get back...Have you seen the movie, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" when PW is taking the Alamo tour?...Tina TOTALLY worked at Nazareth Village..."We are now in the adobe (hut) where Pedro & Maria (Joseph & Mary) are preparing tortillas (falafel) for dinner. Can you say that with me? TOR--TEEE--YAAS (FAAA- LAAAA- FULLL)" OY VEY! The only redeeming quality was that I got an adorable picture of an ass (donkey). Note to all you future Israeli tourists...skip Nazareth! Aside from Jesus, nothing good DOES come from the place.



Ruti debriefed us on our next day's journey and we arrived at the Tiberius Sheraton which is right on the Sea of Galilee and a far cry from the Pube Hotel. It is wonderful and the views are incredible! We had a nice dinner and then Lincee and I had the GBC Group up for a dance party and a bottle of California champagne toted all the way from the good ol 'USA(thanks, Annie!).

It was only after our Dance Party, that I wondered how our neighbors, the head honcho of the trip and on our other side five Hassidic Jewish men felt about ABBA's Dancing Queen at 9:30 on Shabbat (Holy Day)... I'm sure we'll try to keep it to a low roar tomorrow night.

RUTI RECAP:


In attempting a "get to know ya" session with Ruti this afternoon, we asked her what kind of stuff she liked to do. Being performers at heart, Lincee and I asked Ruti if she was a karaoke singer and she said, "Gawd no, my voice is lowuh than the Dead Sea." I am going to try to work this into conversation somehow tomorrow. "I need to eat, my blood sugar is lower than the Dead Sea." "My tolerance for Nazareth Village was lower than the Dead Sea."

BABY UPDATE:
No room in the inn...still! A manger, perhaps? Mom, Brother and Baby are doing fine, but I'm REALLY ready to be an aunt!

CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION:
Waking, caffeinating, enunciating, greeting, Caesarea touring, falafel eating, Ruti loving, Nazareth Village hating, Shalom Shabbating, dancing, blogging, sleeeeeeeepppppingg..zzzzzzz.


PICTORIAL UPDATE:
No words needed for Ruti, our fantastic Israeli hostess!

Caesarea by the sea's beachAn arch at the amphitheater in CaesareaMore of Caesarea...
A Roman-esque relic, commemorated here for our friend Jill and all other foot lovers out there!The falafel bar at our lunch stop...never knew onions could glow so flourescent pink!; (see top center)Megiddo ...the place of ArmeggedonThe one good thing about Nazareth Village...Pedro & Maria's (Joseph & Mary's) Donkey. Our accommodations...twice the size of our Tel Avivian room and NO hair!The view from our Tiberian room...so beautiful!

DAY ONE: In the words of John Denver, "I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane"

I have been planning for this trip for nearly 6 months and the BIG DAY is finally here! I'm going to the Holy Land...IZ-RYE-EL!

Before I can get there to do all the great things I've been planning -- Floating in the Dead Sea, eating falafel, visiting a kibbutz, etc. -- I've got to get there! And that means a long flight. The first leg of the trans-continental adventure, I'm seated next to the most darling 30-something newlywed couple from Arizona. They're anthropologists in Africa & celebrating their recent wedding with a trip to New Jersey to visit her parents (oy vey!).

They are planning on heading to Mexico for the honeymoon after the in-law visit, only the groom realizes halfway to Newark that his passport is still in Africa. I'm not sure if that put the kibbutz on the honeymoon plans, but I hope for their marriage's sake he figured something out!

While most would shudder at the thought of having a 3-hour layover in Newark (which is 2. 5 hours longer than anyone should have to be in NJ), I was quite excited! It meant that my cousin Josephine (of the travelingcousins.blogspot.com fame of last summer) and her man PJ met me in baggage claim for a 30-minute visit and a piece of birthday cake. What fun!

After a few hours on the new flight, which left at around 11 p.m., with birthright travelers all around, I decided it was time for 3 Tylenol PMs and a glass of wine.

Nine hours later, I awoke to a message in Hebrew that was welcoming us to Tel Aviv! Jehovah Jireh...I have never slept on planes before. I think I've found the secret formula.

Tel Aviv...now there's a story. It is a little like a dirty New York City & super crowded. Our hotel was tourist class with pubic hairs on the bathroom ceiling and my roomie Lincee and I had but one question, "How did those get there?" Nevertheless, our group was geared up for sunset cocktails and we took a short walk down to the beach. All hair aside, the Mediterranean Ocean, regardless of where it is, is absolutely gorgeous! We saw our fair share of aged Tel-Avivian men in Speedos, but our oceanside walk was a fantastic way to start our journey in Israel.

After an authentic Israeli dinner, we crashed! And awoke at 3 a.m. (since it was only 7 p.m . Houston time!). And crashed again. Already a great trip and a fantastic group. I can't wait to keep ya'll posted. And, make sure to check out roomie's world famous blog: http://www.ihategreenbeans.com/ for the real scoop! Love to all and SHALOM FROM TEL AVIV!

PICTORIAL VERSION:

Our group on the way to the Pube Hotel...

Lincee & Angela photograph the Weenie Man

The Sunset...

Our room...This is considered a "double room."

Israel's Baywatch...

BABY UPDATE: {SIDE NOTE: Our family is expecting the first baby. Wanda Evelyn's (Note: that's not her real name) due date was the 25th & like a typical Otto woman, she is tardy in her arrival. I'm heartbroken to miss my niece's debut... but I will meet her soon enough and have a hamesh hand to give!} So, today...on the first day my sis-in-law was going to be induced...no room at the hospital, no kid. Not an aunt YET!

CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION (for the short attention spans):
packing, congregating, flying, celebrating, flying, sleeping, poker playing, landing, sunset-cocktailing, de-hairing, crashing, waking, sleeping, waking, sleeping, waking (you get the picture).