Friday, May 30, 2008

DAY TWO: In the words of Dolly Parton, "Nine to Five"

This tourist stuff is a full-time job! Lincee and I woke up early (6:50 a.m.) to watch Channel 24's music videos. Apparently, the weenie bikini men have day jobs as Israeli pop singers. Lots of old people in tight outfits. God bless the USA!


We had a fantastic breakfast...Israeli coffee ("Cafe") is fantastic. We learned a few Hebrew phrases:
1. Bon Apetit: "bete-avon"
2. Thank you: "toda"
3. Where is the bathroom?: "eifo hashhirutim?"
4. Good Morning!: "boker tov"
5. Peace on the Sabbath.: "Shalom Shabbat"


After a carafe of the good stuff, we headed out to meet our other comrades, who flew in on a later flight. It was the first time I realized Mama's advice was right..."A little bit of lipstick and a smile and nobody will notice how tired you really are!" Turns out the rest of the group, many of whom we didn't know (they're from another church) are really incredible folks! (Thanks to Pam and Jill for "introducing" us!). Lincee & I noticed that we have sore throats. At first we were thinking, "Oh no, we're sick." Then we realized it was from all our Hebrew practice...there's a lot of "hoighght"-ing (think phglem sound) in producing those words we learned this a.m.!




First off, we met our tour guide Ruth, or "Ruti" (pronounced "root-ey,"). She's a trip...in fact, she's THE trip! We love her! She told Lincee and I today that we were "fun" which was almost like hearing "Well done, good and faithful servant!" She knows SO much about where we're going, Biblical history, the Scriptures, etc. She'll be such an asset (not to mention constant comedic relief) on the trip. I've decided to dedicate a section of the blog to her, the "Rudi Recap," which will recount a saying, tidbit, or joke straight from the lips of this fantastic woman!



Our first stop was in Caesarea. And what a great place to kick off our Israeli Invasion '08. This is the spot where Gentiles first heard the Gospel message and the location of the best Roman relics and ruins in the country. We waded in the ocean (this is becoming a theme) and took a ton of pictures. I could camp here for a while!

We left "by the sea" and cruised past a bedroom community, where Ruti told us many of Israel's wealthy "summer." Linc and I are going to sneak back later to try and find our Jewish sugar Daddies!

We stopped at a spot on Mount Carmel for falafel lunch (and I'm positive Ruti is getting something for taking us to these spots). Aside from the dog and cat who were on top of the tables and the restauranteurs taking our money and dishing out the pita bread, we were the only folks around. A few other tour buses pulled up as we were leaving, so I'm pretty sure we were at the McDonalds of falafel world!

Our busdriver, David, who is the world's best driver (although he told us he takes the sharp curves by simply closing his eyes) took us next to a monastery on Mount Carmel that is built on what is thought to be the spot where Elijah challenged and defeated the 450 Ba'al prophets. The monastery overlooks Megiddo, the prophecied location for Armaggedon. A very cool stop.



Last, and certainly least, was our stop in Nazareth. We went to Nazareth Village, which was supposed to be a recreation of what it might have looked like where Jesus may have walked. That was two hours of my life I will never get back...Have you seen the movie, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" when PW is taking the Alamo tour?...Tina TOTALLY worked at Nazareth Village..."We are now in the adobe (hut) where Pedro & Maria (Joseph & Mary) are preparing tortillas (falafel) for dinner. Can you say that with me? TOR--TEEE--YAAS (FAAA- LAAAA- FULLL)" OY VEY! The only redeeming quality was that I got an adorable picture of an ass (donkey). Note to all you future Israeli tourists...skip Nazareth! Aside from Jesus, nothing good DOES come from the place.



Ruti debriefed us on our next day's journey and we arrived at the Tiberius Sheraton which is right on the Sea of Galilee and a far cry from the Pube Hotel. It is wonderful and the views are incredible! We had a nice dinner and then Lincee and I had the GBC Group up for a dance party and a bottle of California champagne toted all the way from the good ol 'USA(thanks, Annie!).

It was only after our Dance Party, that I wondered how our neighbors, the head honcho of the trip and on our other side five Hassidic Jewish men felt about ABBA's Dancing Queen at 9:30 on Shabbat (Holy Day)... I'm sure we'll try to keep it to a low roar tomorrow night.

RUTI RECAP:


In attempting a "get to know ya" session with Ruti this afternoon, we asked her what kind of stuff she liked to do. Being performers at heart, Lincee and I asked Ruti if she was a karaoke singer and she said, "Gawd no, my voice is lowuh than the Dead Sea." I am going to try to work this into conversation somehow tomorrow. "I need to eat, my blood sugar is lower than the Dead Sea." "My tolerance for Nazareth Village was lower than the Dead Sea."

BABY UPDATE:
No room in the inn...still! A manger, perhaps? Mom, Brother and Baby are doing fine, but I'm REALLY ready to be an aunt!

CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION:
Waking, caffeinating, enunciating, greeting, Caesarea touring, falafel eating, Ruti loving, Nazareth Village hating, Shalom Shabbating, dancing, blogging, sleeeeeeeepppppingg..zzzzzzz.


PICTORIAL UPDATE:
No words needed for Ruti, our fantastic Israeli hostess!

Caesarea by the sea's beachAn arch at the amphitheater in CaesareaMore of Caesarea...
A Roman-esque relic, commemorated here for our friend Jill and all other foot lovers out there!The falafel bar at our lunch stop...never knew onions could glow so flourescent pink!; (see top center)Megiddo ...the place of ArmeggedonThe one good thing about Nazareth Village...Pedro & Maria's (Joseph & Mary's) Donkey. Our accommodations...twice the size of our Tel Avivian room and NO hair!The view from our Tiberian room...so beautiful!

4 comments:

wotto said...

unbelievable blog. Tara laughed so hard her water almost broke. if you step it up one more notch tomorrow, you might be an aunt. Seriously, I feel like i have been to nazareth, tasted the falafel, and walked where jesus' fake townspeople walked.

wwjd,
where was jack daniels?

w

Unknown said...

Hi, I came over from Lincee's blog, What a great story teller you are.
I loved reading Your Big Adventure in Nazareth....guess there was no basement there either, lol!
I look forward to reading more from you and Lincee.
Take care,
Amye

Anonymous said...

NJO -

Shalom to you, sister. That is brilliant commentary, just brilliant. It feel like I'm right there in Israel with you!!! I can't wait to hear more about Sweet Ruti. That falafel meal sounds great. How are the deserts? Do they use lots of salt?

NJO, a Bloggirl said...

JC, the big scoop on our end this evening is that this guy in our group, Brandon, is having an AFFAIR with Sweet Ruti! Apparently, she chugged 5 beers and won his heart. More on that later!